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Don’t think it, don’t say it. Don’t say it, don’t think it. I’m gonna take my chances here and say that today we’re taking about The Bye Bye Man. If you find this review and it hasn’t been published, that means he found me. It also means that I kind of threw you under the bus just by making you read his name, so your time is probably pretty limited, too. The mythology here is kind of spotty until you see the movie (or even after you see this movie). I wasn’t seriously looking forward to a January horror movie. I’m not a big horror fan, but I’m slowly coming around since I have to review them. I still respect horror, but it will never be my favorite genre. 2016 was a great year for horror, so I was hoping that The Bye Bye Man was the start of another good year. Even though we aren’t supposed to say it, let’s talk about The Bye Bye Man.
The Bye Bye Man is directed by Stacy Title and stars Douglas Smith, Lucien Laviscount, Cressida Bonas, and Doug Jones. When a supposedly dead and misunderstood myth is brought back to life, Elliot, his best friend, and his girlfriend must find out how to save themselves and their brand new house from a mysterious figure who messes with your mind.
Well, The Bye Bye Man is a January horror movie. It’s one of those movies that comes out solely to make money because nothing like it is in theaters right now. It’s cheaply made, and tons of horror fans are going to come see it. This movie is bad. It’s very, very bad, and it’s not something I can suggest seeing. Oddly enough, I think it has a solid start. It’s not something new or something spine-tingling, but I thought it had a decent beginning for a January horror movie. In fact, I wish we could have stayed in the opening for a little bit longer and explored the lore in that time. We didn’t, and the rest of the movie becomes unbelievable. I actually think the first half of the film is better made, but the pacing is so poor, and the first half is just a giant build-up to the all out craziness that is the second half of the movie. I was taking it seriously for the first hour, but I finally gave in, and the entire audience just started laughing, and they weren’t laughing in a good way. They were laughing at all of the things that shouldn’t have been laughed at. The main element that was hilarious was the acting. This movie’s acting is so bad that The Bye Bye Man is my current top contender for the funniest movie of the year. We might just be thirteen days in, but let’s see if it holds up. I felt a little bit bad because they weren’t being helped by the awful screenplay. Some of the lines in this movie are so bad that you need to see it to believe it. Coupled with the awful delivery, it’s pretty hilarious. Next, there are so many moments that made me genuinely question what was happening. There are so many odd cuts, edits, and shots, and so much of it feels out of place.
The mythology also gets less and less consistent as we progress. An encounter with The Bye Bye Man did something exceptionally different to our main character’s girlfriend than it did to anyone else. She became sick. She had a fever and a type of cold or flu, but none of the other characters who have anything to do with The Bye Bye Man become sick, yet for some reason, the characters all decide that she’s sick because The Bye Bye Man is getting closer. This movie is so difficult to take seriously between the horrendous dialogue and acting and, for me, the name of this mysterious character. How menacing is a character named “The Bye Bye Man?” It’s a good thing Doug Jones was the man behind the makeup because The Bye Bye Man has a terrible, not-so-terrifying name with some decent history and mythology that is never explored or put to use. It has nonsensical symbolism for the character, and we never really go into why people see trains when he’s getting closer or why random gold coins fall straight through wooden nightstands. On top of that, why did these kids buy this house? I mean, didn’t someone tell them that it looks like a house that a suburban family moves into at the beginning of a horror movie? I could have seen the house and decided that it wasn’t the one just because it looks like people have been murdered inside of it. Nobody ever seems to think about that kind of stuff in these movies, and The Bye Bye Man follows all of the typical bad horror movie tropes. I also really didn’t like the characters. They’re just dumb. They’re unintelligent, but on top of that, they get less likable and less intelligent as the movie goes along, and by the end, I’m ready for The Bye Bye Man to do his thing with these characters. I did have some fun with this movie, but it was mostly because this is one of those movies you can laugh at. You’re not laughing because jokes were intentionally hitting. There are multiple scenes in The Bye Bye Man with a librarian, and they are pure perfection for someone who watches movies to laugh at their low quality. They’re awesome scenes, and they went a long way in making this movie entertaining. In one of the scenes, our main character looks at his phone, and the analog clock says that it’s 1:40. At this time, his phone battery is at a full charge. He decides he has some time to do some research on The Bye Bye Man, but time gets away from him and it ends up being 2:37, and his phone is completely dead. If my phone went from full charge to dead in fifty-seven minutes, I think I have a much bigger issue on my hands than The Bye Bye Man. Now I have to check my receipts and make sure my warranty is still valid so that I have the chance to get a new phone with a new battery that lasts longer than fifty-seven minutes.
Overall, I was having a blast with The Bye Bye Man. Actually, I’d say I was having blast “at the expense of” The Bye Bye Man. This is not a good movie. I would have loved to have seen some more exploration done into the character of The Bye Bye Man because there is some interesting lore behind him, but the acting and screenplay are terrible and nothing makes sense. I’d actually be all for a different team going back to the drawing board with this idea, but I couldn’t wait to say bye bye to The Bye Bye Man. Don’t think it, don’t say it, and please don’t spend your hard earned ten dollars on it. I’m going to give The Bye Bye Man a 1.5/10.
What will you be checking out this weekend? Comment down in the comment section and let me know! It’s definitely January with Underworld: Blood Wars and The Bye Bye Man, but are there more to come? What are you looking forward to in 2017? Tell me in the comment section! As always, thank you, and keep listening to 88.7 The Pulse!